Only Takes a Smile

Only Takes a Smile

In May, I moved out of my house of 25 years and into a new home and new neighborhood. I love it, nice quiet area on a dead-end street. So different from the busy street I used to live on with only two neighbors (one on each side).

Now, nearly every weekday when I leave to go to my day-job, I drive by two neighborhood ladies in snazzy workout clothes having their morning walk. Being the friendly sort, I raise my hand and smile. They are a little hesitate, but they always give me a wave back, but no smile. I’m okay with that. Rome wasn’t built in a day. They know where I live, but nothing else about me.

For a few days last week, I’ve been running late and left after they passed my house. But one day, I walked out my front door as they were going by. Not wanting to act unfriendly, I waved, guessing they might look over. One of the ladies did glance my way. Obviously, not the leader of the two. Instead of waving back, she snapped her face forward, her hair whipping around, and they continued on. I bet her neck ached later that day.

My husband knew of my ritual of waving and smiling at them. So he asked before I closed the door, “Did they wave back?”

I leaned back into the house and said, “Noooo,” trying my best not to burst out laughing. They will never be friendly if they think I’m making fun of them. But this so reminds me of high school. Crazy.

Well, we’ll see how it goes next week. I’ll let you know.


The Beast Inside

I’m screaming inside right now.

That’s what happens when you hear news you don’t want. As a reasonable human being with manners, you know you should never scare the people around you. You should grin and bear it. Never let people see you cry or be upset. Otherwise, you’ll have to explain what happened. When you explain, you relive the devastating reality. Then people give you platitudes you can live without. Usually, they say those things because they believe it’s the proper thing to do. So in other words, they say the words to make themselves feel better.

All you can tolerant is someone who will talk about the nice weather. So you keep your mouth shut and manage a faint grin.

Most people do not understand how I feel, so I rather not hear their opinion or receive their sympathy. I keep the screaming inside until I’m numb and can come to terms with the person I am, not the one who I thought I was.

Yet I move on.