Yes. I’m a bit of a female chauvinist. Sure males can write romance, but you have to remember for centuries when they did they almost always killed off one or more of the protagonists in the end, e.g., Romeo & Juliet.
Anyway, I was watching a movie that I had never expected to see romance in it. Plus it had a wonderful lesson to share. The movie? Don Jon. Yes. You read that right. The movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt — oh, my he has grown up. He plays a young fellow who learns there’s more to fucking than the physical act.
See, Jon likes to hang with his boys, takes good care of his car, home and body, and is a player. But he loves porn more than anything. To him, porn sex is more real and satisfying than the genuine thing.
Now for the spoilers. But first, if you’re thinking of watching the movie and you should, you might want to come back and read this later or you can read on and see if you agree with what I say here.
It’s not the great movie of the decade, but it’s entertaining, and did I mention Joseph Gordon-Levitt has grown up? Yum!
At first I thought, oh, no, it’s going to be about sex and not good sex, and it won’t make any sense, and I will be pissed when the credits roll in. But as the movie went along, you can see there is so much going on. He’s open to change. Maybe inside he realizes he’s not happy with his life.
About halfway through the movie, he loses his girlfriend because he lies to her about watching porn. But it is an older woman who teaches him the best lessons.
One, that porn is not real. They’re actors. All this time, he’d been looking for a woman who would act like them. He wanted all the pleasure but wasn’t willing to do the same for his partner. The older woman asked him, had he ever jerked off without watching porn? He hadn’t. That gets him to thinking. So he stops watching it. Suddenly, he has more time to do other things. He calms down and starts to enjoy life more.
And then the woman tells him one really big truth. For him to enjoy sex, he needs to make love to his partner, he needs to lose himself in her.
Though the movie doesn’t end with him confessing everlasting love to the older woman, he understands by making sure his partner is enjoying sex, his pleasure will be so much more satisfying. In turn, his partner will lose herself in him. That good sex is a shared experience. Just as much as a mental thing as it is physical.
I was totally surprised by the message of the movie. A total unlikely premise saying what so many romance novels tell us.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt wrote the screenplay. The fellow does have layers. Talented.
If you decide to watch it, don’t go in expecting anything. Just sit back and be entertained. It’s funny in some parts. Tony Danza (Who’s The Boss) plays his dad and is a hoot. His mom is played by Glenne Headly (I remember her from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, but others may from Monk). But as you can imagine, you certainly shouldn’t have children in the room while you watch it. And there’s a lot more to it than what I mentioned here.