Odd Observation – Page 10 – Carla Swafford, Author

Sense of Humor

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Carla Swafford, Author

You and I know that a sense of humor is subjective. What I think is funny (love pratfalls), you might not necessarily believe the same. Okay, here’s a commercial I came across the other day. Blew my mind! I laughed so hard, I had to share. LOL!

Hey, their publicity department is a genius. It’s so provocative that women have to be talking about it. Like me. HA!!

Another funny part is that I’m re-reading a Linda Howard book and the hero’s name is Sam. ROTFL! I wouldn’t mind that Sam in my pants. (Just kidding, hubby. But can I call you Sam? You can call me Angelina.)

Odd Observation, Writing

Writing With Tequila

Posted on May 8, 2014May 9, 2014 by Carla Swafford, Author

How often have you heard that writers are crazy? Often, right?

Just think, every writer lives in her head easily 90% of the time. She makes up worlds that she tries to control, at least in the beginning. Then the characters take over. They may not do what we want most of the time, but like in my case, being a romance writer, they always come around to my way of thinking. You know, that LOVE can help any person get through the rough times and appreciate the good times.

Then when a writer deals with the outside world, there are so much she can’t control (reviewers, editors, agents, sales, family, etc.) and that can drive a normal person to drink, no less an oversensitive person (most writers).

I’ve been writing for years, and I can tell you the thought of downing a bottle of tequila sounds ideal most days. Yeah. I can understand why Stephen King was an alcoholic for years.

Don’t worry about me. I’m a sober writer though certainly loony. You can only imagine how nuts I would be drunk. Then again, I love everyone when I’m drunk. But we won’t go there.

Men, Odd Observation

Finding Romance In Strange Places

Posted on May 3, 2014May 3, 2014 by Carla Swafford, Author

I get so tickled when I’m watching a TV show or movie and realize parts of it have many of the same elements of the books I read (romance). Especially if the show is written by a male.

Yes. I’m a bit of a female chauvinist. Sure males can write romance, but you have to remember for centuries when they did they almost always killed off one or more of the protagonists in the end, e.g., Romeo & Juliet.

Anyway, I was watching a movie that I had never expected to see romance in it. Plus it had a wonderful lesson to share. The movie? Don Jon. Yes. You read that right. The movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt — oh, my he has grown up. He plays a young fellow who learns there’s more to fucking than the physical act.

See, Jon likes to hang with his boys, takes good care of his car, home and body, and is a player. But he loves porn more than anything. To him, porn sex is more real and satisfying than the genuine thing.

Now for the spoilers. But first, if you’re thinking of watching the movie and you should, you might want to come back and read this later or you can read on and see if you agree with what I say here.

It’s not the great movie of the decade, but it’s entertaining, and did I mention Joseph Gordon-Levitt has grown up? Yum! download

At first I thought, oh, no, it’s going to be about sex and not good sex, and it won’t make any sense, and I will be pissed when the credits roll in. But as the movie went along, you can see there is so much going on. He’s open to change. Maybe inside he realizes he’s not happy with his life.

About halfway through the movie, he loses his girlfriend because he lies to her about watching porn. But it is an older woman who teaches him the best lessons.

One, that porn is not real. They’re actors. All this time, he’d been looking for a woman who would act like them. He wanted all the pleasure but wasn’t willing to do the same for his partner. The older woman asked him, had he ever jerked off without watching porn? He hadn’t. That gets him to thinking. So he stops watching it. Suddenly, he has more time to do other things. He calms down and starts to enjoy life more.

And then the woman tells him one really big truth. For him to enjoy sex, he needs to make love to his partner, he needs to lose himself in her.

Though the movie doesn’t end with him confessing everlasting love to the older woman, he understands by making sure his partner is enjoying sex, his pleasure will be so much more satisfying. In turn, his partner will lose herself in him. That good sex is a shared experience. Just as much as a mental thing as it is physical.

I was totally surprised by the message of the movie. A total unlikely premise saying what so many romance novels tell us.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt wrote the screenplay. The fellow does have layers. Talented.

If you decide to watch it, don’t go in expecting anything. Just sit back and be entertained. It’s funny in some parts. Tony Danza (Who’s The Boss) plays his dad and is a hoot. His mom is played by Glenne Headly (I remember her from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, but others may from Monk). But as you can imagine, you certainly shouldn’t have children in the room while you watch it. And there’s a lot more to it than what I mentioned here.

Odd Observation, Writing

Expectations In Romance

Posted on April 20, 2014May 14, 2014 by Carla Swafford, Author

As anyone who reads romance knows, there is always a happy ending. The heroes or heroines never die, and they never break up. Sure, they may never marry, but as a reader you know they will be together forever.

But I’ve noticed over the last several years there are other trends in particular of romance.

Back in the seventies through the nineties, the couple would wait until three quarters of the way through the book before having sex. Of course, there were exceptions, but then they often didn’t do it again until toward the end when all misunderstandings were cleared up.

Then in the new millennium, they started having sex in the middle of the book. GASP! I remember I could open some books directly in the middle, and there would be the love scene. It was so funny, not the love scene, usually pretty hot, but that I could find it so easily.

Even now I can read a mainstream (traditionally published) romance, and it will go like this: sexual tension, kissing, petting, almost a home-run but there’s an interruption by an external force or by a realization (She’s a virgin! She’s my brother’s fiancée! He’s the wrong brother! He’s a rake!) and maybe happens more than once. Eeek! So again, it would take until halfway through the book to have sex.

I so hate that. Sure they can’t go like bunnies all the time in a romantic suspense, (otherwise, that would be erotica), they do need to run and worry about something other than the hero being able to get it up. The horror! So with their clothes on, most of the time – I’ve been known for making my heroes go without – they need to have other types of action happening around them and to them.

There are other trends that I’ve seen romance writers do. Heroines are wetting their underwear/thongs a lot. Surprised the girl doesn’t have an infection. Heroes have that bead of moisture on the end of their penises. Not every man has that happen, every time. Then again, I haven’t been with every man.

I know why these trends happen. One writer will read another writer’s book who mentioned a bodily function or reaction the other hadn’t thought of before. So in her next book, she mentions it and then the race is on! Everyone is wetting panties and having beads everywhere.

So writers. If you read it in one, two, or three books, does it make it true or necessary? Please make your book’s a little different. Mix it up. Think about your own experiences and expand.

And if you’re a virgin and writing about women who have a great sex life, kudos to you! You’ve got a great imagination, but you might be surprised that it is a whole lot different than you believe. Actually, usually a whole lot better, though a lot messier. And a woman doesn’t multi-climax every single time.

If you do, you’re unique and I hate you. (HA!)

Of course, it is fiction that we write.

My Books, Odd Observation

Avon Imprints

Posted on April 5, 2014 by Carla Swafford, Author

Hey, I came across this page on HarperCollins website — yeah, yeah, I was Googling myself again. Whenever I’m procrastinating, I do that.

Anyway, check it out. I’m so proud and tickled they mentioned me – twice. I really love Avon and hope to have more books published by them in the future.

The webpage has all of the imprints published under the HarperCollins corporate umbrella. To look at the whole page with all the imprints, click here.