The past week, I’ve been on vacation. So nice. Working on my writing during the day and watching TV or reading at night. Mercy, I’ve watched quite a few movies and TV shows on Netflix.
You know, it got me to thinking about the millions of actors and authors who hope to become famous for what they love to do. It blows my mind.
Does it make me want to quit? Goodness, no. All of this makes me want to work harder, to become a better writer. Every author should strive to improve with each book.
When my husband I were dating, he was known for being a bad boy. Since I don’t want to embarrass his family or my daughters, I won’t get into about what he did. But we hung out with some people you would call in a nice way – rough. Now, I’m not saying all of them were that way. A few of the girls were like me, from the middle class part of town and attracted to the bad boys.
I can tell you after a few years, I realized that life wasn’t for me. The drinking, drugs, smoking, cussing (still a bad habit of mine that slips out on a occasion) and living on the edge sucked big time. They cheated on each other, stole from anyone, even their friends, and many didn’t know the meaning of hygiene or taking care of their possessions. And they would laugh about it all.
Thankfully, my hubby grew up to be a good man, though that bad boy mentality (a.k.a. Cranky) comes out on occasion.
Over the years, a few people have recommended to me book series about motorcycle gangs/clubs. My sister even talked about how much she loved Sons of Anarchy. I gave in and bought one book, “sampled” a few others and watched the Sons. The book I didn’t finished, the others I didn’t buy, but I did watch all seasons of SOA. The TV series had some good moments. I think mainly I wanted to see Charlie/Jax’s butt. Otherwise, the show had more violence than plot.
The books and even the show reminded me of those days from my youth.
So now I’m writing a motorcycle club series. It will be toned down (really, I’m known for writing about sex and violence; so there will be enough in it) compared to the series and the partial books I’ve read. As I mentioned, I’ve been around those type of people. You don’t want to mess with them or be like them.
But there is something romantic and sexy about bad boys and dangerous men. Even more so when they’re reformed.
Over the years, I’ve heard clueless people call romance novels porn. The last couple years, with the FIFTY SHADES OF GREY craze, the newest incorrect term is mommy porn. (Geez, if you do, you obviously have never read the real mommy porn. Yuck.)
I can tell you there is a big difference between porn and romance novels, including romantic erotica. From here on out, I’ll just refer to it as erotica to make it simple.
First, let’s talk about romance and erotica. Romance books have a lot in common with numerous genres: literary, mystery, science fiction, action/adventure, etc. In fact, romance books can be all of those things. But the underlying difference is there are two people who become attracted to each other, fall in love or decide they cannot live without the other. And of course, they all have the wonderfully required happily ever after. (I swear the journey to that point is always nail-biting.)
That attraction is what leads the book into becoming a romance. Even if they can never kiss, touch or make love. Those romantic feelings are deep inside the heart and overtake the head. They have nothing to do with how many climaxes they can reach with each other. Romance is how a person treats the other, and in turn, how he/she wants to be a better person for the one they love.
There are many readers who love what is called a Closed Door Romance. They never read what happens behind the bedroom door. I refer to those as pure romance. You will find Inspirational and Sweet romances do that in many genres.
Now, in the romance writing world, erotica is romance that shows love through physical actions along with the emotional ones. There are readers who want the full excitement from beginning to end. They’re like your best friend who comes up after a date and asks, “Tell me the details. Don’t leave anything out.” And as most men know, women rarely leave out anything in the telling in private to their best friend. Or the whole office.
In erotica, the writer will cover every sensory involved in a relationship. The emotions of romance wrapped in taste, sound, smell, sight, and especially touch. I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time buying a new blouse without touching the material. Thus to me, if the heroine hasn’t touched the man in every way possible, how does she know the whole package (pun intended) will suit her for a lifetime?
For porn, the physical act is what leads and ends the story. No character development and none to little emotion. And no – screaming at the end of climax is not the emotion I’m talking about. Though bravo for the character(s).
I can promise you I do know the difference. In my precocious teens to my early thirties, I read many books that could only be called porn. They never left me satisfied (pun intended again), in particular, on an emotional level.
So next time a person calls a romance (no matter how hot) porn, be sure to correct them. Tell them, it’s like calling a history book, a time travel. If you don’t know the difference between those, you might as well keep your mouth shut and read.
This is just a mishmash of things I’ve been thinking about.
1) I’ve read so many books the last year (actually, most I didn’t finished) that were awful. Grammar ten times worse than mine (they really need an editor or a better one), heroines that get angry over stupid stuff, heroes who act like stalkers, and authors who are lazy and use the same terms/descriptions popular with a hundred other authors (see #2 below). By the way, when I buy one, that sucker is deleted off my iPad. Took me a while, but I’ve learned to read the sample or “Look Inside.”
2) Is it just me, but aren’t you tired of hearing about the pearl of moisture at the tip of a cock? Or that every heroine swallows. Get real. He would have to shoot out tequila and lime for that to turn me on.
3) Really, size only matters if it is too small. Average is best. That your vagina is only 3-4 inches long and will lengthen for your partner or whatever. Even it has a limit. Anyway, here’s a cute video called “Does penis size matter?”
4) What’s up with heroines not wearing makeup? Why is it “good girls” go without makeup and look naturally beautiful? Bull crap! If you’re twelve years old maybe. All of my heroines wear makeup except in the shower, the pool or running from the bad guys early in the morning.
5) When has it been okay for people to ask authors how much money did they make off their book? I don’t ask how much you pulled down from your job? Hmm, you better watch out. I will most likely ask that next time that question comes up. Let’s see how happy they are with such a personal question.
6) And why does everyone think all authors are rich? I have two jobs. A day job and my writing job. I don’t know anyone who has two jobs that do it because they’re rich. Usually, it’s because they need money to pay bills and know the best way to get it is to work for the stuff! My hubby isn’t rich and I don’t have a sugar daddy.
7) Oh, I do love being a published author (as I’ve stated many times). Of course, the recognition is great. But another reason is any odd behavior that creeps out (the older you get, the crazier you get like your parents) is excused by someone saying, “She’s an author, you know.” HA!
Maybe I’m still a teenager at heart, but I love coming across an article talking about sex
positions and it not being porn. This simple article talks about having the woman on top. Good advice in my opinion.
The best part about the article is that the guy’s hot. How often in pictures with articles or commercials on TV, the woman is cute and the dude looks like Woody Allen? No matter how many women he’s slept with, no one can call him sexy or handsome without lying or/and being related to him.
Carla Swafford, Author 