What Model Of Alpha Do You Want?

tumblr_myfffeXLM61srko8to1_r1_500Reviews are a double edge sword. Authors want and need them to get the word out about their books, but reviews with low ratings and pure hate for a book are not helpful in my opinion. The reason I say it that way is that I had a well-known blogger tell me even horrible reviews can help sell a book. You know, everyone wanting to see if a book is really as terrible as everyone is saying. Heaven forbid, if that ever happens to me. I’m all for the positive hook.

Anyway, reviews per se is not what this post is about.

Occasionally, I read reviews from some of my favorite authors. Why you ask? Whenever I’m feeling down about my writing (what the fuck am I doing?) and need to see even my favorite NYT bestselling authors have a handful of disparagers among their hundreds of five star reviews. Yesterday, I was looking at an author whose publisher had released her backlist in ebook. So thrilling because now I can get copies for my iPad and the paperbacks can stay on my shelves in good condition.

On one hand, I was surprised by the many one stars (and anger) for books I love of hers. As I read the reviews, the main theme appeared to be the way the heroes treated the heroines.

See, from 1970s to 1990s, it had been popular for the heroes to be what I call supreme alphas. It started with the bodice rippers (literally, and by the way, I freaking hate that term for current day romance in general). Yes. Historical romances were queen in the beginning and the heroes thought nothing of ripping the bodice off the heroines. It was so different from what women had been reading before then. I can get into the dynamics of the sexual revolution and birth control and woman finding out they loved sex when there was little fear of pregnancy (only 2% to 9% fear as pills are 91% to 98% effective), but that is still not what this post is about.

In my dear favorite author’s earlier books, the heroes bossed and took over the heroines’ lives as if the women had no sense at all. At the time, and to a point nowadays, I love reading books with those types of heroes. But from what I’ve read in other articles, reviews and in general conversations with twenty- to thirty-something readers, they do not want a hero to act that way. In real life, I wouldn’t either, but, folks, this is fantasy. Anyway, onward and upward…

I thought that was interesting considering how many readers love kinky doms (BDSM), demanding billionaires, and dangerous bikers (MCs). So I compared the differences and realized in most cases, the older romances with dominating males, the heroes came across as cold and unfeeling at least until the end. While the new wave alphas show tenderness and often sweet talk their heroines, they are the same type of heroes, but they have smoother edges.

Both have pluses and minuses. I have found that sometimes when I’m reading a new author’s male point of view, the guys sound a little girlish. More of how the author wished a male would be. From what I know of most men, they are straightforward in speech and action and rarely think about how so-and-so feels about something. They believe they do what must be done and not worry overmuch about it. They have gut feelings and realizations. Not all of that touchy, feely, (I’m not talking about sex) I-have-to-talk-it-out stuff. Of course, there are the exceptions, but they are usually the villains.  HA!

Oh, if you’re reading an old romance, be sure to keep all of this mind. Hopefully the publisher (or author, if self-published) will show the original published date. It would be best in the end. Fewer rants by readers. Geez!

Porn vs Erotica

Young Couple Sharing Special Moment and PresentOver the years, I’ve heard clueless people call romance novels porn. The last couple years, with the FIFTY SHADES OF GREY craze, the newest incorrect term is mommy porn. (Geez, if you do, you obviously have never read the real mommy porn. Yuck.)

I can tell you there is a big difference between porn and romance novels, including romantic erotica. From here on out, I’ll just refer to it as erotica to make it simple.

First, let’s talk about romance and erotica. Romance books have a lot in common with numerous genres:  literary, mystery, science fiction, action/adventure, etc. In fact, romance books can be all of those things. But the underlying difference is there are two people who become attracted to each other, fall in love or decide they cannot live without the other. And of course, they all have the wonderfully required happily ever after. (I swear the journey to that point is always nail-biting.)

That attraction is what leads the book into becoming a romance. Even if they can never kiss, touch or make love. Those romantic feelings are deep inside the heart and overtake the head. They have nothing to do with how many climaxes they can reach with each other. Romance is how a person treats the other, and in turn, how he/she wants to be a better person for the one they love.

There are many readers who love what is called a Closed Door Romance. They never read what happens behind the bedroom door. I refer to those as pure romance. You will find Inspirational and Sweet romances do that in many genres.

Now, in the romance writing world, erotica is romance that shows love through physical actions along with the emotional ones. There are readers who want the full excitement from beginning to end. They’re like your best friend who comes up after a date and asks, “Tell me the details. Don’t leave anything out.” And as most men know, women rarely leave out anything in the telling in private to their best friend. Or the whole office.

In erotica, the writer will cover every sensory involved in a relationship. The emotions of romance wrapped in taste, sound, smell, sight, and especially touch. I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time buying a new blouse without touching the material. Thus to me, if the heroine hasn’t touched the man in every way possible, how does she know the whole package (pun intended) will suit her for a lifetime?

For porn, the physical act is what leads and ends the story. No character development and none to little emotion. And no – screaming at the end of climax is not the emotion I’m talking about. Though bravo for the character(s).

?????????????????????????????????????????????????I can promise you I do know the difference. In my precocious teens to my early thirties, I read many books that could only be called porn. They never left me satisfied (pun intended again), in particular, on an emotional level.

So next time a person calls a romance (no matter how hot) porn, be sure to correct them. Tell them, it’s like calling a history book, a time travel. If you don’t know the difference between those, you might as well keep your mouth shut and read.

Romance Novels and Women’s Expectations

Men worry about romance novels giving women too high of expectations.  Of course, Playboy magazine never did that for men (sarcastic font used here with extra large boobies and tiny ass). I believe that romance novels save a lot more marriages. You ask how?

Women learn . . .

  1. How to give better blow jobs because they realize it turns on both partners. And a better chance he will reciprocate.
  2. Men think differently than women. THANK YOU, GOD! Don’t layer on all our crap. They love sex, food, large screen TVs, sex, sports, food, sex, and sometimes the reverse.
  3. To no longer wait for the man to get them off. Walgreen’s has a great on-line store, just for your health and well-being. Wink-wink.
  4. Sex can be fun, especially when you throw in a few toys or rope (that you just bought from Walgreen’s).
  5. How to demand what makes them happy. Guys have been telling us for centuries that they are not mind readers.
  6.  How to be more romantic. Really and truly, some men are more romantic than us women.

So buy your sweetheart a romance book today! And read it with him/her.  I recommend something hot with a lot of action and adventure mixed in with all that great sex, and whose books do I recommend?  Well, mine, of course! Duh!  LOL!

What’s That In Your Pocket?

CircleofDesire mm cOver the years in romance and erotica, I’ve seen (or is that read) the size of a man’s penis go from average to King Kong in length and width (ouch!). I’ll never forget reading a historical romance where the guy’s cock was so big he had to wear a sheath around it whenever he rode out to battle the enemy. Funny but oddly sexy.

Anyway, I came across this interesting article called Does Size Really Matter? It’s worth a read and maybe the next time (if you’re a writer), you’ll think twice before giving your hero a huge “pleasure rod.”  If you want to know more about penises and sizes, click here and read what Wikipedia said about it.

This all makes me remember a scene in CIRCLE OF DESIRE.

She [Olivia] leaned back in the chair, looking at him [Collin] with half-closed eyes. “Listen I hate men. No, I’m not sexually interested in women. I already have a pussy. Why would I  want another one? I put up with men for one reason only. Their cocks. Big throbbing ones. A real live hot, hard cock is ten times better than any synthetic one at satisfying my needs. I like playing with them and then leaving before they want more. Was that what you wanted to hear?

The burning sensation in her stomach said it all. She hated this discussion. She hated that he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to protect her. Why she expected any man to protect her when she’d done it for herself all this time, she didn’t know. She just did.

Love that woman!